Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Don't Blame that Crap on ME! I'm from Windsor...

Oh, we don't do lights on our house. We don't even heat our house. We had an energy savings audit done, and the guy laughed and asked me how we were using so little energy. I said "knitting."

The Pigs asked why we don't hang up lights. I tried to tell them we were saving the world. They didn't buy it. I then went on to say that the neighbors were glory hounds and were just trying to show off and that they probably used plastic shopping bags and incandescent light bulbs and Santa didn't deliver gifts to people who waste. I finally said the lights attract werewolves.

That's why we hang a wreath. A wreath left over from clippings we gather from the ground and string together ourselves. LIE. A wreath that is purchased from a pagan tree lot grown on a spot of land just down wind from the evil pharmaceutical company. That way the wreath glows in the dark, and may have a longer than four hour erection.

I got a "you are my bff, thanks for knitting my kids weird stuff, here's a gift certif to a LYS." I don't know why I'm still here...it needs spent.

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