sacrilege!!

Holly:

In this weird, weird world we inhabit, is nothing sacred?!?!?



I mean, really. Cookie Monster eating veggies?!?!? And why, do you think? I'll tell you why!!! They're worried about child obesity. Like kids are going to want to eat broccoli because Cookie Monster is on a diet?!?? Please. (although you may beg to differ as you have kids and I don't. Do correct me if I'm wrong!)

I actually found seeing this photo rather traumatic. I don't like vegetables - I never have, and when I was a kid I liked even less. Cookie Monster was my hero.

Whither the real Cookie Monster?

Sob. You will be missed, Cookie.

why didn't I think of that?!?!?!?!

Holly: we need an agent sooner rather than later.

(Wrong agent? Just trying to get your dirty little mind off more current Bonds. I'm a bit of a hypocrite though, because this ruse is not quite working for me...

STOP THINKING ABOUT DANIEL CRAIG, KRISTINA!!

That's better. Besides, as you know I am rather partial to older Scottish blokes:

OK - I can focus now. What was I saying? Oh yes ...).

We desperately need an agent. Look what I saw on the way to work this morning...

We have missed out on yet another golden opportunity! Check out the blurb:

I could have written that book. And you could have written the American companion volume "Why Krispy Kremes just don't cut it: Tim Rules!

So... let's get going on it. It's winter, it's cold and we can spend lots of quality time scheming and writing...

Ahem, not to mention daydreaming.




You are truly, truly wicked. I don't think that JJ will let me watch Casino Royale tonight given that I've already made him see it three times in the past two weeks!

Any zombie problems lately?

Ta-ta,

Kristina

Pure Genius! We need an Agent!

Dear Kristina!

We need an agent, STAT! Better call in 007...

Somehow between the olives, the vodka, the blue eyes and the giddy planning of Daniel Craig as permanent Friday Man Slave yarn winder, this info passed into the martini/brain barrier...

blah,blah, DANIEL CRAIG, blah, blah, movie, BOND, blah, 2008.

fame and fortune are soon to be ours!

Holly:

FABULOUS ideas!!!

I'd totally go for the MDK book concept, but wackier and less homey, of course. How about something along these lines:



Check out the inside of the book!

If you don't know who Amy Sedaris is, you'll get a sense by reading this interview. Very, very wacky. Almost as nuts as us (except that she's only half greek and I'm 100% greek which would account for the difference on my end at least!)

Then we can get a TV show, then Daniel Craig can be the regular guest star. I certainly wouldn't mind prancing around in front of him like this:



I mean, he thinks he's tough...


... but I'm sure we could convince him to be the souschef/yarnwinder/boy Friday. How do you think he'd look in an apron?

Oh Holly Holly Holly - do you see what you've started!!!! You are evil. The world will never be the same again once they are introduced to... the 49th Dimension!!!

Oooh! Excellent Idea!

Totally rock this idea!

Let's either

Have a 49th Dimension Knitting book-like the Mason Dixon chicks
or
Have a Zombie Prom Date Knitters Book turned into a Movie

Either way....

Daniel Craig will star!!!!

stop putting up photos of Daniel Craig, woman!!!

Holly!

It's hard enough being a knitting obsessed blogger and trying to concentrate on work (especially since most of my work is done on the computer). Then you haveto go and put up distracting photos of James Bond! Man alive.

Do you not realise I almost did not leave the house this morning because I was watching Casino Royale for the 50th time?!?!

Sheesh.


Oh - since you've forced us onto this topic, I thought you might enjoy the following video clip for drool potential and/or laughs. I saw this on TV in London at Christmas time. It is a skit featuring Catherine Tate, a popular british comedian, and DC.

Hey - I never clued in that my new favourite movie star and my favourite beverage share the same initials. This must mean something.


Is it meant to be? He has the same colour eyes as JJ as well... just my type! And British to boot.

Now, back to your post.

So, you liked the Malabrigo OK...
I preferred this one but there wasn't enough of it for the Secret of the Stole thing (of course, I had to buy it anyway): Handmaiden Lace Silk!

I now have 7 kilometres of Handmaiden products. Shameless, I know. I'm wondering if there is a Yarn Miles card out there somewhere? hmm.

Excellent that you have a duck family as well! Love it! We'll have to introduce them all sometime.

Sorry to hear about your toxic waste. I won't take any of it, thanks. I got rid of all mine last week when cleaning the apartment. Glad to hear you have a girl crash on the waste lady - I guess you'll never have a girl crush on me because I don't watch CFL. But don't I look handsome? I know, I know... not as good as this guy:

Sigh. (fanning myself) Back to the grind now.

Cheers, and enjoy the waste-free day!

Kristina

Your Lace Weight Impresses Me...I'll Raise You Hazardous Waste

Your lace weight does in fact impress me. Did you score they all mighty amount?

I was sent a harshly worded email that suggested I needed to get off my arse and rid the house of all the chemicals that forced me to conclude that the Ogre was a Romney lovin' Republican.




My lady really was that happy when she took my hazardous waste! It was great. We talked about coffee, Led Zeppelin the benefits of CFL, and the cool new shopping bags they have at our local grocery store. They're fabric, collapsible, and are sturdy enough to stay upright, all for the low, low price of $1. I think I have a girl crush.

So after all that hot environmental saving the world action, I decided to end some of the Ogre enforced bans and took Pig 3 out to lunch. Oh, I wasn't thinking about Haz Mat Girl, RFK Jr baby. Well, him and Daniel Craig, the beach, and yeah.

Then we went shopping. No, we didn't hit the LYS. I knew that would be pushing it, but I did score some much needed supplies. Christ, there could be a bloody blizzard at any moment and you do not want me to go all Shining on the family and start swinging my shovel willy nilly. So I had to stock up on a few essentials...

Look! Did you know, I too have a family of ducks? They Pigs are actually fostering them for me.

it must be five o'clock SOMEWHERE...

Hey Holly:

I hadn't noticed that your drinking game post was dated 4:00 p.m. So - are you saying that you and Ogre didn't get started until ... oh... 4:45 or so then?


(I know what you mean - dates/times really get screwed up by this 49th dimbulb here. Sometimes for some reason work Emails come over as having been sent by me at 2:00 a.m. People remark upon this and I just let them think I really was up until all hours doing work. It justifies my taking a 2 hour lunch and then leaving at 4:00 p.m. to hit the bar/the LYS/my couch in front of Law and Order reruns/wherever else I'm planning to hit on any given day.)

Obviously I'm quite hard at work right now... it is 2:00 p.m. at time of writing and I'm busily thinking about high-end legal concepts while I draft this post!

ACKCKCK!!! Good thing I looked at Lettuce Knit's website! They are CLOSED until 6:00 p.m. today - and I was going to hit there to look for lace yarn for the Secret of the Stole around 4:45 p.m. Sigh. Will have to go to Romni instead. Please wish me luck - I need 1400 metres of laceweight yarn in the same colour. (I'm sad because I like Lettuce Knit but don't get there too often because it's off my normal route).

Anyway, take it easy. Had best at least pretend to do some work before I bail from here...

kb

Holy Drunk PJ's Craft Girl!

Ok, my post says I wrote that at like 4 in the after noon. I would like to say that some how in the glory of the space time continuum that is the 49th dim (stress on dim) ension, my posts seem to come across really early. I was not in my pj's and doing drinking games with the Ogre at 4 in the afternoon.

We have three pigs, we have standards. Heck, I'm busy burning dinner until well after 6 most nights.

Speaking of dinner...I made a mighty good meat loaf, last night. I didn't even burn it. That's right friend, I'm going to have to be peaceful and learn math to be like my heroes Ghandi and Einstein. I'm going to gnaw on any cow that walks by my house...and you know that may happen in my neighborhood.

The Bleeding Ulcer sounds better than what I was forced to drink last night! I like the addition of the hot sauce, very sassy.

drinking contests

Hey Holly:

I like the idea of boycotting clothing until the housecleaning is done. And, if I don't get some laundry done soon, I shall HAVE to boycott clothing, actually, and come to work in my PJs. The coworkers would love that!

Love your contest with the Ogre. However, no offence, but I think I'd have to go with his Stoned Ivan.

I'd like to join in with you right now (at work). Hey, how does the following cocktail sound:

- hazelnut vanilla coffee
- warm diet coke from yesterday
- sparkling water
- Frank's Red Hot Extra Hot Sauce
- Maldon Salt
- 151 proof rum (don't ask...well, you can ask. It was a gift someone brought me back from the Caribbean last week which has not managed to make it back home yet. Still unopened. Really).

All served up in a Tim Horton's travel mug? What say you?

I think I'll call it the Bleeding Ulcer.

Best stop slacking and get to work. Hey - wish me luck, eh, as I'm hitting Lettuce Knit this evening to try to find - get this - 1400 metres (1500 yards) of lace weight yarn in the same colour. This for a challenge I'm entering called the "Secret of The Stole II" that Amy told me about yesterday. I'm always the last to know about this stuff! Anyway, the first clue is released this coming Friday and I have no time to order yarn. Unlikely that I will find that quantity in one colour at any of the shops - they do not seem to sell these big cones up here and the shops err in favour of a lot of colour selection in small quantities.

Anyway, hope you're not too hung over after last night's festivities. After the LYS, am heading out to meet my friend Barb for dinner at the Free Times Cafe (best beef brisket ever!). Think I'll be sticking to beer.

Cheers,
Kristina

I really need to go out for supplies...

Ah, Kristina! I congratulate you on the cleaning! I myself thumb my nose at the house!

Take load at this crap...


It's madness I tell you, madness! Please note that in all future photos I will be in my PJ's. I am boycotting real clothes until my basement is complete. I should actually take my pajama clad self and sit down and knit at the permit office until they release my house.

Rat Bastards!

I must go and finish my foul tasting mock martini. I think I'd be better off piercing my ears with the concoction I've made. That or prepping people for surgery...

what the well-dressed zombie fighter is carrying...

Hi Holly: you may have seen this already, but just in case:



A felted pickaxe!!!. I figured every zombie warrior needs one in her collection...

Besides, it might come in handy when you want to dig yourself out after a snowstorm...

cheers,

Kristina

cleanliness is next to zombielessness

Holly: thanks so much for your zombie fighting tips for Canadians on Knit with Snot. You are a truly inclusive North American person!

For my part, I decided that if I cleaned the apartment, I'd minimise the possible hiding places for zombies. Check out what I got done yesterday!

My living room went from this:

...to this!
Just call me Martha. (er... then again, maybe not!)

And then there was the spare room, which looked as though a filing cabinet and several hardware stores had exploded:
You can actually see the floor now!
In addition to finding a whole bunch of yarn treasures long forgotten, I came across this talismanic Scottish traditional headpiece:

I strongly suspect that, were JJ to wear this "See ya Jimmy" tam, it would carry serious zombie-fighting properties. He disagrees, but he'll come around in time, no doubt.

I did not, however, manage to come across any of this while cleaning:

Which is too bad, because after all that hard work I could really have used a break:
When I discovered my sad lack of beer in the house, I had just come in from the corner store to replenish my Diet Coke supply. It was too cold out to venture to the LCBO without the car. I called JJ at work to see if he would stop in for me, but the ingrate (11 hours into a 12 hour work shift) had left early. How dare he?!?

Anyway, on the topic of beer: re Labatt, I do imagine you were brainwashed. I take it you never saw the "I ... am... CANADIAN" ad campaign for Molson. Given your wannabe tendencies, this probably would shift you over to Molson Canadian (if it's available - the only Molson beer I ever saw in the US was Golden, in the green bottle - which no one drinks here).

I wish I could try out some of your microbrews. Those are almost always the best. I had a great one when at the Michigan Womyn's Festival some years back that some women had brought from upstate New York - a black and tan beer. If you can get your hands on some, try it out. There is a version brewed here, but it sucks.

Anyway, another reason for you to get your @$$ up here - lots of microbrews!!! And good "big brewery" beer too... for some reason I have yet to try this one:

...but am looking forward to it (a free can came with the last twofer of Keith's IPA that I bought. J. "Ingrate Supreme" J. snagged it while I was at work one day. He must have run out of Grouse.

As for Alaska: I have no idea why the US bought it. And I appreciate your kind sentiments about giving it to me... but really, I don't know what I would do with it. It's difficult enough trying to keep one 1000 sq ft apartment tidy!

Not to mention keeping up with the knitting:

This is my progress on the Nina Shawl. I'm getting seriously bored with this and hate the colours I picked - but it's too far gone to rip now.

And, I can't really rest on my laurels when there are still bedrooms to clean:


So, I'll sign off now. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday and don't drink too much of the brew, eh?

America makes Beer?

Ok, I guess we do make some swill, but I mostly drink from what is called the American Micro Brewery. So you may not have had the chance to sample them in the great land of Canadia.



Quick question: Why the hell didn't you guys buy Alaska? It seems lame that we own it, it should be yours. I would give it to you, but the Ogre says we bought Alaska from Russia, and technically I can't just go giving States to friends in Toronto, no matter how much I envy their shoes.

Back to beer. Miller, be it Lite, High Life Lite, or "Genuine Draft" is what my family originally thought bottled water was. Nice to drink on a hot day after mowing the lawn, or safe to drink if the water might be contaminated.



Budweiser? They have horses. Which is odd because I always thought that Coors was made of horse piss so I kind of thought that they were the horse people.




If I am going to drink beer, it must be from the people of the Great White North.

Which is why when I reach for a brew, I go Labatt. Actually, I may reach for a Labatt because I was a bit Toronto Blue Jays fan growing up and I may have been brain washed by the ads, or the color of the team. Must research that.

See, always trying to be Canadian; The Tigers win the World Series in '84, I root for a Canadian ball team, out of spite.

Back to US Beer, or US Swill...Micro Brews are the only way to go. These are guys who brew for the love of the hops, the excitement of the process, and well, drinking beer.

Ah, good times...

Dear Holly:

I had no idea mall walking could be so profitable! Must try it out. How does one dress to go mall walking for profit?

Just sitting here at the office chugging down a jumbo Tim's coffee (not a double double - black with two sugars) and trying not to fall asleep. It is about 200 degrees in this building today.

Finished the Kingsolver book - she rocks. It is a very interesting read. Did you read "The "Poisonwood Diaries" by her?

Last night, like you, I went out and had fun. Not knitting fun... this kind of fun:

We then came home and promptly passed out on the couch, not to wake again until 4:30 a.m. SIGH.

Did you know that the alcohol content in beer in the UK is much lower than here? Something like 3.6% on average. I knew the Americans were wimps when it came to beer drinking... have you ever seen the Bruces sketch on Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl?

Bruce 1: Why is drinking American beer like making love in a canoe?

Bruce 2: Dunno.

Bruce 1: Because it's f***ing close to water!

Ar ar ar. But seriously, it makes me proud to be a ...

Well, I'm really bored but should do some work so will sign off now. Hey - do you think that I could come up with an excuse to get work to pay for a Photoshop course? I love fooling around with this stuff but obviously need some help:



Cheers,

Kristina

I Made $25 Mall Walking...

I'm going to write the whole thing up on Knit with Snot, but I did manage to make some money yesterday...at the mall of all places.

It involved dancing, tips, and whiplash. It's so not as dirty as it sounds. As stupid, but not as dirty.

Ban all bans!!!!

Dear Holly: is that why it's raining up here in the so-called Frozen North as well? I do apologise. I feel really, really bad now. I'd love to summon up my haughtiest faux British accent and say "Your tears move me not, woman!!!!" but I just can't.

Methinks the Ogre's definition of "emergency" is a bit narrow, no? And, sounds like he is discriminating against vertically challenged females. There must be a viable human rights complaint there - but of course, that would take years and years to resolve.

So - here are my thoughts for shorter term solutions.

(a) Do you have a tap with hot running water and a sink or bathtub in your house at present (I know there have been plumbing problems galore)? If so, the three day waiting period for the icicle Visa could be shortened to about 15 minutes, if not less. More than enough time to release the card, run to the computer, order away - but make sure you also buy one of those flash freezing torches they show on Iron Chef America in case the Ogre checks the freezer upon his return from hunting and gathering.

In the alternative, prepare another bowl with a useless or expired card, freeze that, and liberate the Visa.

(b) Put a button on your blog asking for donations. Seemingly thousands do - and they must get something out of it.

Example: I read a book called "Julie and Julia" some time back. The author, an underemployed New Yorker at the time, decided to undertake a project in which she would cook every recipe in the famous Julia Child cookbook in a one-year period. (I know, I know - but the rest of the story is not really about cooking, so please bear with me).

This turned out to be a more expensive proposition than she had gathered it would be. So, a friend suggested that she put a Paypal button on the blog documenting the project and ask for donations. (At this point in the book I nearly closed it and returned it to the library, thinking "Where I grew up, the most polite word for this was "begging"). She did. The money flowed in.

She then wrote a book about it, is now probably a millionaire and got to go on Iron Chef America and meet Alton Brown!

So, if I understand this correctly - she got donations to finish a project which she couldn't afford to finish, which project got her a book contract, which made her more money, which got her onto TV, which probably made her even more money, and so forth.

(Now, I want to cry. Why the hell do I continue to work?!?!? At least I didn't put any $$$ into her pocket, as I got the book out of the library...)

Anyway, if she can do this, so can you. Just put up a PayPal button, then go on Ravelry/Knittyboard/everywhere else and tell the heartwrenching story you just told me... the dollars will flow. I expect a 15 per cent cut, though.

In the alternative, I have approximately 17 unchecked lottery tickets sitting in my bag (JJ insists I buy them given that I'm a frequent flyer at smoke shops where they sell these things - I don't approve, so my passive-aggressive response is never to check them.) So, if I win over $1 million, I will buy you four pairs of 'vogs of your choice plus a 'vog bag AND a $1,000 on line spending spree. And you've even got it in writing!!

Feel better now?

Dear Evil in the North,

I am sooo going to cry. I am on a Yarn Diet, a Shoe Ban, and a general credit card freeze.

Freeze as in the Ogre took my card put it in a freezer safe bowl, filled it with water and threw my credit cards in the bowl. The bowl new resides in the freezer...in case of emergencies. Not shoes emergencies, not yarn, emergencies, and not "I really need to dye my hair" emergencies.

It would require an emergency with a three day waiting period for me to purchase anything on credit.

Can I get more credit cards? No. Why? Because I have been a "kept woman" and haven't got enough credit in my own name and the credit bureau looks under the Ogre's name. He has secret spies that call him and he says "decline her at the panty check out line! No fancy shoes for her! Let her knit with the really expensive yak that's invading my side of the closet-NO MORE CREDIT FOR SHORT CHICKS!"

So, flaunt your new Fluevogs, make me dream of Canada and discount prices and currency with a higher value than the dollar....

As a side, if you need to unload some shoes, you can always send some my way. Size 8 right?

It's not flooding from rain in Michigan, those are my tears,
Holly

don't hate me...

Dear Southern Friend:

Well, I just returned from the Boxing Day sale at John Fluevog. I have good news and bad news. In time honoured tradition the bad news first.

I located nothing on sale. Well, that's not strictly true. I located three fab "last pairs" of shoes for $99 and swooped them up joyously. The sales person then raised an eyebrow and said "Dear, who are those for?!?" Turns out they were size 12.

But, undaunted, I perservered - and the good news (for me, although not for my pocketbook) is that I acquired not one, but two new pairs of shoes!

Here is the first, called Saint Michael:



And the second? So new, they're not even on the website yet. They are close in appearance, however, to Supervogs and they are cherry red/burgundy in colour. Pics on my blog tomorrow.

Don't hate me, dear friend. I just couldn't resist. All the money I didn't spend abroad (because I didn't feel like shelling out double for clothes I could buy in Toronto) was burning a hole in the pocketbook. And, they appear to have lowered the prices in the shop up here to match the US ones, which makes it easier to justify. I'll tell JJ that one pair is for Aphrodite. Do you think he'll buy that?

And - you should get yourself a pair. I have it on good authority that they are not only Satan free but Zombie free as well!

I must say it is really good to be back in TO (aside from the rather paltry snack situation). I'm munching on a slice of Mamma's Pizza and enjoyed a Boston Cream from Timmy's this morning. And - it's 13 celsius out!

Holy Mother of Junk Food...

How can one area of the world be laden with so many wonderful snack treats???

Glad you are home! I mean, I'm sure it sucks to be back, but glad you are back!!

Sample of what I have been up to...

Holly