cleanliness is next to zombielessness

Holly: thanks so much for your zombie fighting tips for Canadians on Knit with Snot. You are a truly inclusive North American person!

For my part, I decided that if I cleaned the apartment, I'd minimise the possible hiding places for zombies. Check out what I got done yesterday!

My living room went from this:

...to this!
Just call me Martha. (er... then again, maybe not!)

And then there was the spare room, which looked as though a filing cabinet and several hardware stores had exploded:
You can actually see the floor now!
In addition to finding a whole bunch of yarn treasures long forgotten, I came across this talismanic Scottish traditional headpiece:

I strongly suspect that, were JJ to wear this "See ya Jimmy" tam, it would carry serious zombie-fighting properties. He disagrees, but he'll come around in time, no doubt.

I did not, however, manage to come across any of this while cleaning:

Which is too bad, because after all that hard work I could really have used a break:
When I discovered my sad lack of beer in the house, I had just come in from the corner store to replenish my Diet Coke supply. It was too cold out to venture to the LCBO without the car. I called JJ at work to see if he would stop in for me, but the ingrate (11 hours into a 12 hour work shift) had left early. How dare he?!?

Anyway, on the topic of beer: re Labatt, I do imagine you were brainwashed. I take it you never saw the "I ... am... CANADIAN" ad campaign for Molson. Given your wannabe tendencies, this probably would shift you over to Molson Canadian (if it's available - the only Molson beer I ever saw in the US was Golden, in the green bottle - which no one drinks here).

I wish I could try out some of your microbrews. Those are almost always the best. I had a great one when at the Michigan Womyn's Festival some years back that some women had brought from upstate New York - a black and tan beer. If you can get your hands on some, try it out. There is a version brewed here, but it sucks.

Anyway, another reason for you to get your @$$ up here - lots of microbrews!!! And good "big brewery" beer too... for some reason I have yet to try this one:

...but am looking forward to it (a free can came with the last twofer of Keith's IPA that I bought. J. "Ingrate Supreme" J. snagged it while I was at work one day. He must have run out of Grouse.

As for Alaska: I have no idea why the US bought it. And I appreciate your kind sentiments about giving it to me... but really, I don't know what I would do with it. It's difficult enough trying to keep one 1000 sq ft apartment tidy!

Not to mention keeping up with the knitting:

This is my progress on the Nina Shawl. I'm getting seriously bored with this and hate the colours I picked - but it's too far gone to rip now.

And, I can't really rest on my laurels when there are still bedrooms to clean:


So, I'll sign off now. Wishing you a wonderful Sunday and don't drink too much of the brew, eh?

America makes Beer?

Ok, I guess we do make some swill, but I mostly drink from what is called the American Micro Brewery. So you may not have had the chance to sample them in the great land of Canadia.



Quick question: Why the hell didn't you guys buy Alaska? It seems lame that we own it, it should be yours. I would give it to you, but the Ogre says we bought Alaska from Russia, and technically I can't just go giving States to friends in Toronto, no matter how much I envy their shoes.

Back to beer. Miller, be it Lite, High Life Lite, or "Genuine Draft" is what my family originally thought bottled water was. Nice to drink on a hot day after mowing the lawn, or safe to drink if the water might be contaminated.



Budweiser? They have horses. Which is odd because I always thought that Coors was made of horse piss so I kind of thought that they were the horse people.




If I am going to drink beer, it must be from the people of the Great White North.

Which is why when I reach for a brew, I go Labatt. Actually, I may reach for a Labatt because I was a bit Toronto Blue Jays fan growing up and I may have been brain washed by the ads, or the color of the team. Must research that.

See, always trying to be Canadian; The Tigers win the World Series in '84, I root for a Canadian ball team, out of spite.

Back to US Beer, or US Swill...Micro Brews are the only way to go. These are guys who brew for the love of the hops, the excitement of the process, and well, drinking beer.

Ah, good times...

Dear Holly:

I had no idea mall walking could be so profitable! Must try it out. How does one dress to go mall walking for profit?

Just sitting here at the office chugging down a jumbo Tim's coffee (not a double double - black with two sugars) and trying not to fall asleep. It is about 200 degrees in this building today.

Finished the Kingsolver book - she rocks. It is a very interesting read. Did you read "The "Poisonwood Diaries" by her?

Last night, like you, I went out and had fun. Not knitting fun... this kind of fun:

We then came home and promptly passed out on the couch, not to wake again until 4:30 a.m. SIGH.

Did you know that the alcohol content in beer in the UK is much lower than here? Something like 3.6% on average. I knew the Americans were wimps when it came to beer drinking... have you ever seen the Bruces sketch on Monty Python Live at the Hollywood Bowl?

Bruce 1: Why is drinking American beer like making love in a canoe?

Bruce 2: Dunno.

Bruce 1: Because it's f***ing close to water!

Ar ar ar. But seriously, it makes me proud to be a ...

Well, I'm really bored but should do some work so will sign off now. Hey - do you think that I could come up with an excuse to get work to pay for a Photoshop course? I love fooling around with this stuff but obviously need some help:



Cheers,

Kristina

haircut madness...

Holly!!!

The hair is FABULOUS!!!

I love it. Almost as much as I love my new 'do. NO HATHEAD - so now I only look like a hoser when actually wearing a toque.

I have a new fancy toque that I knitted on the airplane but forgot my camera hookup at home - so pics will have to wait.

For my part, I'm going mad over here. Even the trip to the convenience store for smokes is fascinating to me. They actually have steak flavoured potato chips!! (which are called 'crisps' here...) plus all the smarties, cadburys, etc... and Doctor Who advent calendars!!!

Only problem - they charge £3 (approximately $6) for a six pack of diet coke. Can you believe that? The beer is about the same price as the diet coke. I could never live here, really - I'd be a roaring alcoholic. The diet coke even tastes different - much sweeter. Strange, eh?

(I find myself over here noticing just how much I say 'eh?'. I wouldn't have thought I really said it all that much - but it seems to be every second word these days. At least I don't have to wear a maple leaf... just open my mouth and they know where I'm from!!!)

Cheers - I just had to post when I saw the fab do!!! :-)

Kristina

winter wonderland and TGIF

Hi Holly:

If I ever get tired of the fabulous pink jacket, it's yours. But don't hold your breath.

You are ultra-cool for wearing green army jackets. I'm too wimpy to do so - plus green makes me look nauseated, really.

My news: it's a bit warmer outside. Which is a good thing. Also, yesterday I took this to the landlord/tenant continuing legal education session:



I'm quite embarrassed to report that 4 hours or so of knitting (and 3 1/2 hours or so of frogging) yielded only this:


Morals of the story:

(a) always carry stitch markers; and

(b) read and memorize that part in the lace books about "lifelines".

Also, perhaps

(c) do not try to knit lace while snorting coffee (AM) or diet coke (PM) from nose at preposterous statements made by landlord lawyers about "professional tenants". (I thought "professional" meant "earning money", not "shelling out $1000/month plus to landlord... or not, as the case may be.")

I would really very much like to see an online tutorial about the art of i-cord and swizzle sticks and crotch ties and piss artists! I bet The Anticraft would snatch that one up...

Looking forward to 5:00 p.m., when all the lady poverty law advocates, tired from a long day of slaying landlords, employers, mindless bureaucrats, etc and drinking their blood, repair to a local establishment to drink beer and wine and then to the Indian buffet for a victory feast (or a bitch session, depending upon the mood).

Wishing you a marvellous weekend - think of me operating a steam shovel in my apartment to remove all the debris and fighting my way through the hordes at the Yorkdale Mall. SIGH.

Well, Michigan is Practically in Canada...

No joke friends to the North!!! Threadbear Fiber Arts is selling your Mission Falls 1824 Cotton for $2 a skein! The wool for $3. I stocked up! They ship, call them.



Look, I wear my hair so my hoser hat can't escape! It gets caught in the elf/Florence Henderson curls. Very rockin'!

She's saying Cheers!

Or Hell Hath No Fury like a woman kept from her LYS due to a stupid ass snow storm!


Good luck on your charting nightmare. I was supposed to make a chart for that orange hat. You know, to say "shoot on sight." Well, let's just say, it's a plain boring orange hat. I never even pulled the graph paper out. That may be because the graph paper was in the recycled robot ass bag, and it smelled too toxic to go near. But when I see the hat, I will want to shoot the wearer on sight.

I admire your house cleaning skills and think that more people should take up your methods.

University level chat... continued.

Dear Holly:

What is it with this term "ass" that I've been hearing all the time lately, anyway, as in "that's so ass"? Can you explain it to me? Man, sometimes I feel way too old - a 29 year old like you wouldn't be able to relate, I'm sure.

About Labatt Blue - here I think it was always sold in brown bottles. All the beer here was actually sold in stubby bottles until the late 80s or so - all brown. Then they also had quart bottles. (I don't know what happened to those - I rather like them). Now a bunch of these facnier beers come in clear bottles but some real beerhounds (unlike myself - just a beer pup) have said to avoid those ones as the light destroys the taste of the beer.

So, maybe that's the reason for getting rid of the green? Or, perhaps it's a Tim Bits conspiracy, as you say.

I am off the mosaics again, having completed an insane amount of unspecified gifts for people... (can't post because some of the people read the blog). The kicky beret sounds good! I'm going to be starting a pageboy cap by Stitch Diva maybe today. Have to finish my MDK tribute collection first, of course.

Just got back from the evil Loblaws. It was the first time in a while that I've managed to get there at the same time as JJ - meaning I could stack up on 10 bags of szechuan chips instead of two, as he was paying. It is also the first time JJ has been on a weekend in a long time - usually he goes during the week on his off days. We've been back half an hour now and he is still ranting on about ignoramuses (ignorami?) walking through the store shouting on cell phones, although he has finally gotten off the topic of "why does President's Choice make their sausage rolls with CHICKEN?!?!". That's just ass. :-)

I think that you and I should make it a point to hit La Belle Province sometime soon. There must be a LYS or two in Montreal - and the alcohol is cheap!!! And available in corner stores, unlike here where we must trek to the Store of Liquors or the Beer Store.

And - rest assured - you never have to drink alone. I will always be glad to hoist a pint or three with you - and we're even in the same time zone. Keep up the evil Holly and have fun fun fun. Vive le Dimension 49th!!!

Back to the MDK project now... am getting sick of it and must finish.

Canajan cold fronts?

Hey Holly: I take it you haven't recovered yet from the wine, mayo and smoked turkey combo last evening. For my part I've got the mid-afternoon munchies and seem to have consumed my entire stash - aside from a packet of sesame snaps, which seem too healthy right now. SIGH.

I had a good laugh when I visited Amy's blog today.
And this all the way down in Oklahoma. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that just north of Texas??? We Canadians get blamed for everything! And all because of some squeaky voiced cartoon dweebs:


So, yes, yes, Blame Canada! I don't care because I ... AM ... CANADIAN!!!


This is a screenshot from an old ad campaign for this brand of beer: The guy, who was nicknamed Joe Canadian, used to go on and rant about the differences between Canadians and Americans. Some of us found it quite amusing - but there are two things about it which highlight the schizoid "don't know who we really are - British or American?" nature of the Canadian public:

(a) it took a beer ad to get people thinking patriotically about themselves in this country; and
(b) the motivating beer ad stopped airing in 2005. Why? Because Molson has now merged with Coors (an American company).

Bastards. Good thing I drink Keith's IPA.

Molson is swill. Here is the father of Keith's, Alexander, himself.



He looks a lot cooler than Joe Canadian above, too. And very obviously a true Canadian.

But wait! What's this I see in the blurb about him?

A young Scottish immigrant, Alexander Keith established his Halifax brewery at the age of 25 years.

He's from SCOTLAND?!?!? JJ will never let me live it down. Sigh.